I surrender all
Reflecting on what it means to trust in God
Many of us who are Christians know the theological principles of what it means to trust in God. We have this knowledge in our heads that he is in control of everything and will often comfort each other with platitudes that remind us that he is working it all out for our good.
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.– Romans 8:28
These words and others like it are often quoted to us and by us as we go through hard times as we try to remember that it is for good, that in some way it will all work out in the end.
The move from this knowledge being in our heads and moving into something that we feel and experience is a big one. The 30cm gap between our heads and our hearts is the longest 30cm I know. There are times that this gap will feel like the biggest chasm that we have ever seen and as we scramble through different disorienting experiences, trying to really trust in God through it all. As one of my clients put it recently, there is trust and there is trust, and we want to be able to grow in really trusting God.
Genuine, experiential trust in God looks like surrender. This very big word is something that has been coming up for me in a few different ways these past weeks as I face certain changes and challenges in my own life. As I continue to reflect and surrender these things over to God, I am struck by numerous questions about what this all looks like for me. It is one thing to think about letting go and knowing that I should give it all over to God and another thing to open up my hands and let go.
What does it mean to surrender?
How can I grow in trusting God through everything?
What can I do to surrender?
How do I let go?
Why do I still want to hold on even after I have prayed about this all?
These questions and more have all been tumbling through my mind. Surrender is hard. There is something inside all of us that rebels against the idea of letting go because we want to be in control. Ever since the fall into sin we have wanted to play God in different ways, taking his place when it comes to knowing what is right and good, controlling everything and making sure things turn out the way that we think is right. Surrender leaves us feeling untethered and anxious so even when we know that we should be letting go, we hold on even tighter.
We were not created to be in control. We do not have the ability or resources to engineer all the parts of our lives in the ways that we think is best; so when we live in that way we find ourselves exhausted and strung out. We were created for the kingdom of God, not our own little kingdoms. Holding tightly to control leads us into all sorts of problems, especially when we face hard times.
It is when we face difficulty and when times get challenging that we find ourselves confronted with the reality of how much we want to be in control. Even when we intellectually understand that God is in control and know all the words of the bible that speak of God's promises, we do not live that out practically. God is using the challenges we face to reveal what is going on in our hearts, showing us how we are holding on to our own desires for what is good and right and placing ourselves on the throne in our hearts, the seat where he belongs. Through this, he invites us to slowly let go, to surrender and submit ourselves to him.
This process of stepping off the throne and surrendering to the God of our lives takes more than a head knowledge of his control over our lives. It takes that real, genuine, experiential trust. That type of trust is something that can only be found in relationship.
Relationship is important. We trust that our loved ones have our best interests at heart because we have built a relationship with them. We have trust in our spouse or friends because of the way that trust has been built over time, they way that they have held our secrets and been present in difficulties previously means that we trust them to do everything they can for us in the future. All the small moments where they have responded well when we have been vulnerable and the ways they have been vulnerable with us.
People who say “just trust me” are the hardest people to trust. In their words, they are place an expectation of trust on us that is based only on head knowledge. We don’t trust them because there is no relationship, there have been no opportunities to establish trust, no relational exchanges that have demonstrated that they are trustworthy people. In the same way, knowing in our heads that we need to trust God doesn't work, we might even try to trust him with what is happening but still find ourselves holding on tightly and trying to control what is happening.
For us to trust in God, we need to be in relationship with him. That experiential trust, the deep feeling of security that comes with surrendering to God can only come through an active relationship with our Saviour. Just as relationships with people need time, we need to spend time with God. This is more than listening to good podcasts or sermons that tell us about God, it is building practices in our daily lives that help us to connect with our God so that we learn to see him as our rock and refuge. I hope to explore the practical side of this in this follow up post.
As you reflect on what it means to really trust in God, what do you find the hardest to surrender over to God?
I want to finish by sharing with you a hymn that I continue to come back to each time I find myself reflecting and I have been meditating on surrender and giving everything over to God, I continue to be drawn to the hymn I surrender all.
All to Jesus, I surrender, All to him I freelt give. I will ever love and trust him, In his presence daily live. I surrender all, I surrender all All to Thee my blessed Saviour, I surrender all. All to Jesus I surrender, Make me Saviour wholly Thine. Let me feel your Holy Spirit Truly know that Thou art mine. I surrender all, I surrender all All to Thee my blessed Saviour, I surrender all. All to Jesus, I surrender Humbly at his feet I bow. Worldly pleasures all forsaken, Take me Jesus, take me now. I surrender all, I surrender all All to Thee my blessed Saviour, I surrender all